Welcome back!
Today's update may not be terribly funny, I have a headache. Of course, it could work the opposite way, and this could be a work of a genius comedienne.
Tal: I'm pretty sure it's going to be the first one.
Me too, but anyway, let's get on with the shoooooow!
Good morning sunshine! Did you sleep well?
Tal: Ohgawdit'sbarelyevenlightoutyet..
That's what happens when you get a job that starts at 8:00 AM. Your carpool comes at 7, and so you wake up at 6. I wish my internal alarm clock was as good as your's.
Tal: I wish I didn't have to have an internal alarm clock.
Your own faaaaault~
What kind of a breakfast is juice?
Tal: The kind that helps keeps me thin.
Oh, psh. You're a Sim. You can eat a whole plate of fatty foods and be fine, as long as you're hungry enough.
Tal: FINE, but it makes me feel better about myself! D;
Talulla, the carpool!
Tal: I see it. It's in front of my face, honking at me. And I'm not blind or deaf!
Whatevah, just get in the car. Did you know that the carpool drivers actually have names? They do! I checked to see what your carpool driver's name was, besides Generic McAveragesim, but I don't remember what it was. That was two days ago and I'm not writing down any notes for this.
Tal: Of course she has a name.. just because we can't be acquainted with them doesn't mean they're not real Sims! And they can't have lives.. or.. now I feel bad for them.
Don't, they all have the same face.
Tal: The women and men don't have the same-
Yes. They. Do. It may not look the same, BUT IT'S THE SAME POSITION ON THE SLIDERS. I've checked.
Tal: Okay, okay, touchy. So what are you going to do while I slave away, getting coffee for everyone? Scout the town for ugly?
Nah, I'm going to make four extra-hideous Sims and throw them into town.
Tal: Oh PLEASE don't tell me I have to marry one of them..
Oh, no, no, that's cheating. They're going to have babies with others in town, so they can dilute their ugly genes down for your future kids, grandkids, or great grandkids.
Tal: Thank goodness!
So, how did your first day of serving coffee to your betters go?
Tal: It went great.. I sucked up to my boss most of the day.. Fatima Simovitch, she's nice. I'm really grateful you made me lucky, by the way.
Why's that?
Tal: If I was unlucky or had regular luck I would have fallen asleep.
Looks like you're about to fall asleep now, standing right there. You better get home and get into your sleeping bag.
Tal: Yeah. I mean, look at those weird looks people are giving me.
"What? Hi! I wasn't falling asleep.."
"I never said you were.."
"Hahaha.. I'm going home now.."
Hahahaha, Talulla..
HEY! Talulla! Are you happy now? I spent part of your first paycheck to get you a light in your outhouse.
Tal: Zzzzzzzzzzjustalightbulbzzzzzzz..
Yes, yes, I know it's just a lightbulb, but you said it yourself. I'm going to be tearing it down later for something bigger and better!
Tal: Zzzzzliarzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..
Oh be quiet. Is it just me or do Sims not dream when they're in sleeping bags?
I watched her all night. ALL NIGHT. I wanted a picture with a dream thought bubble, and never did one appear. Of course, she may have just been doing it to spite me. It's probably that one, actually.
Eating cereal this morning, I see?
Tal: Didn't want you bugging me this time about having just juice. Actually, I just wanted more substance, that juice didn't stick with me very long yesterday!
I would imagine it didn't.
...
AH HURRY UP, EAT YOUR CEREAL FASTER. YOU NEED TO GET TO THE GRAVEYARD NOW.
Tal: What?! Why are the ghosts out so late?
Ha ha, it's barely past 1 AM. That's what happens when you go to bed at 2 PM. Hurry! Hurry! Before it's too late!
You're just going to meet some ghosts, why are you in your formalwear..?
Tal: I thought it made sense. I mean, you wear formalwear for funerals. Not to mention, they're ghosts so they were probably from older times, so are probably used to people dressing to the nines.
I'm PRETTY sure that they're not from older times, since this town was made before Ambitions came out with it's time machine. And even if they were, that dress is far from what they would be used to. But sure, sounds good to me, just hurry up!
Tal: I'm hurrying!
JUST LOOK AT THIS. There's ONE ghost..
.. two, THREE ghosts..
.. FOUR ghosts! And there were five, but the fifth was female, pretty, and she ran away. Guess she knew there was an uglacy foundress going co-founder shopping in town. BUT I'M SO EXCITED. We hit the jackpot, Lulla!
Tal: Yay..
Well, none of them are exactly ugly, but the electrocution ghost is probably ugly enough! Go introduce yourself!
Tal: You'll have to unpause first.
Right.
"Ew, ghosts."
Tal: Have I ever mentioned I'm not a big fan of ectoplasm?
Oh, whine. Just go talk to him, it's not like he has to be a ghost forever, you could learn to make ambrosia.
Tal: Isn't that a myth?
Ah, you're just changing the subject. Go talk to- wait.. wait... WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. Stop! No! Come back here!
...
...
Within seconds, all of the ghosts 'went home'. A.k.a. they all had the 'go home' action queued up, and all proceeded to go to the road and vanish. WUT? Argh. I'll never get my unattractive ghost that way~!
Tal: Guess you should have made me a kleptomaniac, then I could just steal a grave and take it home, then you wouldn't have to worry about them 'going home', since they already would be. Oh well, too late now. Heheh.
It's never too late, it's not like I can't just.. take you into CAS and give you a new trait instead of lucky..
Tal: How about we just go with that repairman, please? Pleaseplease? Ron Lee? He was cute in a weird way!
Oh, fine. I'll think about it. I'm still going to look at others. Meanwhile, you should go hack with the computer at the library.
Tal: HECK YES COMPUTERS!
Tal: Don't they know that neither of them will get any money if they busk at the same spot?
It's not their fault that there is literally someone at every single other spot in town. I'm not even joking. o.o Every single day since I put her in town, there have been Sims busking everywhere.
Just don't get caught!
Tal: I won't, it's not like anyone actually cares anyway.
Tal: Heck yes, I made $21! That's way more than I thought I would make!
Oh wow, you made that much money after working at it for two hours? You are SO good at hacking!
Tal: Yeah, I kno-.. wait, that was sarcasm. Hey, it's not like you could do any better!
Oh, I know I couldn't, 'cause I would never do that to make money in real life. I'm not a computer whiz for one thing.
Tal: Yeah, yeah, more things that you make me do that you wouldn't do yourself. Anyway, I would have made more if it wasn't time for me to go to work!
Tal: Ooooh, he's so cute.. please, can't I just-
No.
Tal: Oh come on, we're even giving each other meaningful looks here, we're perfect for each other!
No, you are not marrying Don Lothario. You already gave me a perfectly good reason to say no, with your 'he's so cute'. PLUS, I have several personality reasons for you: he's the leader of the town casanova and a member of the town mooch.
Tal: And he's also a member of the town robin! Take from the rich and give to the poor, that's a good thing!
His LTW is to be a Heartbreaker. He has commitment issues, he's hot-headed, and is flirty.
Tal: But-
No.
While you're at work, I'll work on finding you a spouse.
Hunter Cottoneye. Eh, a bit too attractive, I think.
Jon Lessen. Not too bad, but still a bit too good looking. What is with this town, anyway? All of the other towns seem to have plenty of ugh to go around, and then this one..
Nadine Ivanov. Not too shabby - but if I wanted to break up a marriage, it would be the Grisbies. Speaking of Walter and his wife, I officially decided against them because they decided to go and have another baby, and I'm really not going to break them up after having another baby. I'm not THAT cruel to my Sims..
Tal: EGADS, WHAT IS THAT? SHIELD YOUR EYES, RUN AWAY, WOMEN AND CHILDREN FIRST! TO THE LIFEBOATS!
Yeah so, you know how I mentioned those ugly Sims I was making? I actually didn't make them the last time she was at work, I made them this time. I debated it last time. So that's why I'm showing you now. This one is Odette Pavone. The only things I styled were her hair, her face, and her make-up. Everything else is COMPLETELY randomized, because that guarantees more ugh. I don't even remember her personality.
This one is Roselyn Adamoli. I think she's actually kind of adorable!
Tal: You would. You made her. That's a face only a mother could love.
Oh psh, nonsense. She has gorgeous eyes.
Tal: She has a BEAK. She does not have a nose, she has a BEAK, and humans just don't HAVE beaks! Her beak covers half of her mouth!
This one is Ioannes Leitzke. Genetically, he's the exact opposite of Roselyn. Well, except for the hair and eyes, I just randomly did that.
Tal: I think his nose is as long as my arm.
And lastly, Daley Sitz. He's the genetic opposite of Odette.
Tal: Is he sticking his tongue out at me?
No.. that's actually his lower lip.
Tal: Oh. I.. see. Yeah...
Tal: I got a promotion! YAAAY!
I can understand that you're happy, but you really don't have to bow to me. ;D
Tal: I'm not-! Argh, you just caught me expressing my happiness a little late! Bah!
I know I had a good caption in mind for this. I just.. can't think of it. So let's go with:
This would be a reeeeeally good shot if this was a serious legacy. I mean, I caught Talulla staring out the window, AND someone driving by at the same time. The only thing weird is the driver's outfit. Not exactly what I would picture a carpool driver to be wearing, but whatever.
... I don't know if I even want to ask why you wear shoes in the shower? Specifically high heels.
Tal: These are not the high heeled shoes you are looking for. Move on.
Okay, I'll just leave it at that then..
Tal: Hey, cool! Maybe I'm a Jedi..
So, why are you at the spa? You're not in pain or anything, and I see no wish for going to the spa.
Tal: I'm here for the new match-maker service they're providing. It costs $500, but they have a money-back guarantee if they can't find anyone in town that's perfect for me.
You do know they probably won't find someone UGLY for you, right?
Tal: You never said I couldn't have a side lover that I actually like.
I guess that's a good point.
(I actually sent her because I'd seen the 'matchmaker' thing when I sent to Rosella to work in my wishacy game once, and had been dying to see what it was like, so decided to send Talulla.)
Since I didn't know how long she would take in there, I decided to follow the voices I could hear conversing, and found these two. So I decided to take pictures.
"Yeah, my sister's really into music.. I don't get it. Sure, I mean, music is great, but I don't want to be part of it, myself. I want to be a doctor. But she wants to be a rockstar."
"Oh, yeah, I saw her on stage once I think. Roxie Lin, right?"
"Yeah.. she wasn't supposed to be there. She ran on stage while the actual band was getting ready.."
"EEP. -freeze- It's.. it's-it's Hannah Jones." 'The one woman I can't woo!'
".. there goes my chatting partner. -walks five feet away-"
"Hi, there, Hal."
"Hannah.."
"You're as beautiful as a bouquet of flo-"
"Ew, no. No. I'm married."
Fail!
So, I'm dying to know - what happened in there!? Did you find a love-of-your-life?
Tal: Pffft, no. I gave them my information, the $500, and they told me to wait. I waited all that time, then they just gave me the $500 back and told me that I could go.
Darnit! Guess the hunt is back on. I was hoping they would somehow find an ugly, perfect match for you.
"Fatima.."
"Henry.."
"Fatima.."
"Henry.."
Donkey!
Wait, Fatima, you're married. Stop sharing meaningful glances with your elderly employees.
Tal: Guess who got a promooootioooon?
Henry McGlum?
Tal: What? No. Me! And I got a celebrity star, too! So cool, I never thought being in business would make me famous!
Oh.. a celebrity star... yay.
Tal: You don't seem excited for me.
Really? It might just be because every single Sim family anyone ever plays are celebrities, it's not exactly a special thing anymore.
OH NO, TAL, BE CAREFUL, YOU'RE ABOUT TO WALK INTO A HUGE PIT OF DEATH!
Tal: Hah. Funny. You know very well that it's just your slow, not-made-for-gaming computer.
Fine, ruin all my fun. Geesh.
I'd sent her to the salon because I saw Elaine Joy there, and she's definitely not the most attractive Sim ever. Unfortunately, by the time Talulla got there, Elaine had gone home. So, I sent her over there.
"Hello, my name is Talulla Ar Mire, and my plumbob, Cyazurai, told me I needed to meet you." 'Oh wow, I don't think even a wrench could fix that nose.'
Oh come now, Talulla, her nose isn't that bad.
"Um.. hi. I'm Elaine Joy. It's nice to meet you.. you're the new legacy foundress in town, aren't you?"
"Uglacy, actually. Now, I have a question: do you like guys or girls?"
"... Guys. I have a boyfriend. Now if you'll excuse me.."
Tal: I think I offended her.
Nonsense, I think she just needed to pee. Now, you should go home and go to bed. It's almost the weekend.
Tal: I should just pull this up all the way over my head and smother myself. No one likes me because I'm an uglacy foundress, and this way, I wouldn't have to marry someone unattractive, or possibly female.
Psssssh, I didn't think you had the dramatic trait.
You're screaming at the wall that you're hungry.. why?
Tal: Because I'm starving!
Well.. you know... I've heard that the best way to satisfy hunger is to eat.
Tal: I would but the carpool is almost here!
Then eat at work like you always do.
"Oh, hello, Don! What am I doing after work? You should have asked before I left. I'm just sitting around at the library, waiting for night time so I can hack some money into my bank account.."
TALULLA.
"What was that, Don? You think my ability to hack money into my bank account is sexy?"
He's only saying that to- oh, never mind..
How about you call Elaine? Ask her if she'd be willing to go on an outing with you?
Tal: Okay, fine.. if I have to.
"Hey, there, Elaine. It's Talulla. ... yeah, the uglacy foundress. I was just wondering if you'd want to- .. oh, you're busy? Should I call back and ask again later? ... you'll be busy then, too? I didn't give you a- .. oooh, you're going to be busy that long, huh? Well, I guess I should go. See you.. well, never I guess, if you're going to be busy for the rest of your life."
I, uh.. take it it didn't go well?
Tal: Yeeeeeeah.
Taluuuulla, you're making me nervous.
Tal: Oh, but why? I'm perfectly innocent.. well, except that window looks like it would be REALLY fun to let my frustrations out on..
No, no.. it probably wouldn't be.. it would probably land you in jail..
And NOW what are you doing? Shoving screwdrivers into small spaces on the computer probably isn't the smartest of ideas, you know, Talulla..
Tal: Eh hem. Remember who is the computer whiz here? I know what I'm doing. I'm overclocking the computer.
Yeah, but with as low of a handiness skill as you have, you're probably just going to-
.. break it. Jeez, I thought you were supposed to be lucky.
Tal: OH HOLY CRAP WHAT DO I DO NOW THEY'RE GOING TO KILL ME I KILLED ONE OF THEIR COMPUTERS!
Relax. I know for a fact that librarians don't kill patrons just for breaking their computers. It happens at my Mom's library all the time. Plus, you have enough handiness skill to fix it so they don't have to call a repairman.
Tal: Oh. Good plan!
I find it odd that you do the same thing to fix it that you did to break it.
Tal: Hey, I was just trying to fix it in another way last time.
Right.
So.. you fixed it just so you could hack some money into your account. OF course you did. Be careful, someone's coming into the room.
Tal: Oh well, I'm tired anyway, let's go home..
Holy crepe paper, it's a sink!
And on that note, I end this chapter. I was going to make it her entire first week, but it was taking almost all day and I was running out of funny.
Tal: Excuuuuuuses, excuses.
Okay, the real reason is because I'm playing with her at the moment, and she's pregnant and going to pop any minute and I want to be sure and get to the point that she has the baby before I get off.
Tal: WHAT?!
Eeeeeer. See you next time!
Tal: YOU CAN'T JUST LEAVE IT TH-
